There is a stigma that surrounds divorce. It’s a word that is often equated with failure and shame. This stereotype has been ingrained in our society. The unfortunate truth is that a large percentage of marriages will ultimately end in divorce. There is nothing odd or disgraceful about ending a marriage. It’s quite common. However, we have been conditioned into believing not only that we have failed, but that the process of divorce will certainly be stressful, embarrassing, and expensive. These attitudes often lead us to play into the negative generalizations that surround divorce.
Sometimes we avoid the reality that our marriage is over. We drag our feet fearing what lies ahead. Our reluctance keeps us stuck in a dysfunctional relationship in effect, wasting precious time not living life to the fullest. Once we do face the painful fact that we need to move on, we often fall into the negative stereotypical divorce behavior; bickering and vindictively fighting over issues that later may seem trivial. The good news is that you don’t have to buy into these narratives. If you and your spouse can get to a place where you can separate your emotions from the divorce process you will both benefit in the long run.
The choice to marry may not have been the best one for you. How you go about ending your marriage is an equal, if not more important choice. You can choose the traditional weather-beaten paths of avoidance or anger, or you can walk a more evolved path; one that recognizes that an important decision such as ending your marriage should be approached with an intellectually considered and mutually cooperative plan. It’s your choice.